Strappy Pumps
Photo: Ronnie Andren

Makeup-color heels are always pretty.

"I dig the way her shoes match her lipstick. Her beauty sneaks up on you."
—Adam, 40
Women's Rain boots
Photo: Ronnie Andren

Your "commute shoes" can look out of place.

"Great job matching her cab, not so much her outfit."
—Ralph, 27
Women's T-strap sandals
Photo: Ronnie Andren

Barely there sandals say "beach goddess."

"She wishes she was on a Hawaiian vacation, but the park will have to do for now."
—William, 26
Strappy Sandals
Photo: Ronnie Andren

Socks + sexy pumps = identity crisis.

"The black heels are 'downtown' sophisticated, and the socks are schoolgirl cutesy. I'm confused."
—Mike, 31
Women's Wedges
Photo: Ronnie Andren

Fashion-forward wedges spell fierce.

"She's either from the funkiest village in Holland or owns her own paint-by-numbers shoe shop. Either way, this girl knows how to have a good time and isn't afraid to tell you to your face."
—Matt, 36

Women's Western Boots
Photo: Ronnie Andren

To some cowboys, authenticity counts.

"She pretends to get excited about the Willie Nelson tickets you scored but secretly wishes you were taking her to see Kenny Chesney."
—Phil, 32
Women's Knee-High Boots
Photo: Ronnie Andren

Tall buckled boots are tough...even with a sundress.

"She's wearing a skirt, but figuratively, she's wearing pants. She knows what she wants."
—David, 26
Women's Platform Pumps
Photo: Ronnie Andren

Ultra-girly shoes are sweet in (almost) all the right ways.

"I hate her rom-coms and obsession with flourless chocolate cake, but I love everything else about her."
—Brian, 23
Sequined Pumps
Photo: Ronnie Andren

It pains him to look at your sky-high pumps.

"Could that be her hand in the shoe? Maybe it is her hand in the shoe. Ankles just don't bend that way."
—Michael, 31
Chunky Heel Pumps
Photo: Ronnie Andren

Your platforms aren't your only platform.

"She updates her Tumblr page 20 times a day while listening to She & Him on repeat."
—Kelly, 29
Animal Print Pumps
Photo: Ronnie Andren

Too many animal prints make it look like you crave attention.

"She pretends to listen to music with an iPod turned off with hopes to overhear a conversation about her looks."
—Justin, 30
Low-Heeled Pumps
Photo: Ronnie Andren

Low heels reveal your true shoe preference.

"She's put-together at work, but on the weekends, she loves to change into jeans and a T-shirt. She looks hot either way."
—Andrew, 33
Black Wedge Boots
Photo: Ronnie Andren

Black boots and bare legs look hot. But not in the way you're thinking.

"Undeterred by the weather, this girl is going to rock a winter no matter what—even if she ends the day in a pool of her own sweat."
—Greg, 21